What is more important to you? Would you rather take true happiness or self-respect? To me, it sounds like a trap - aren’t they related to one another? In other words, how can you be truly happy if you don’t respect yourself? I guess, self respect is more important in this case because if you respect yourself, you are happy... right?
To fully understand something, it’s sometimes best to take the variable out. Imagine not having self-respect; what would our lives be like? Simple answer, we would be miserable. Without self-respect how would we ever stop the voices in our heads that tells us that we’re not good enough. Having self-respect means you have confidence, without confidence we won’t function very well.
I had the habit of always comparing myself to others, because I lacked confidence. Every time someone would compliment me i would say thank you, but in my thoughts, I would often disregard the compliment by saying, “You’re only saying that to be nice”. That’s how I really felt but I wouldn’t dare show it. I can say from experience that being quick to dismiss compliments lead me to a depressed state. Putting artificial doubts into my head only clouded reality, and I became mindful of this. When I became aware of my false truths that have planted in my head I learned to greatly improve my way of thinking, and thus gain a new level of respect for myself.
So basically, without a true sense of self-respect, true happiness cannot be reached. In order to be happy you must accept yourself for what you really are. Focus on your strengths and note your weaknesses, and in doing so this will ultimately reach harmony with your mind. Happiness is never permanent, it wont last forever there will always be bad times, and the best way to diminish it’s bad times is to have a level of self-respect that has the potential to really look beyond all obstacles.
I’m a firm believer that self-respect leads to confidence, and when you have confidence everything you do will be significantly be easier to do. Here is an interesting test I found online about self-respect. This quote is helpful to get a grasp of the concept of self-respect
“Consider an interesting test of self-respect. If someone compliments us, what is our reaction? If we are very pleased, it would suggest a certain amount of uncertainty about our skill. Imagine that somebody whose opinion we respect told us that we were great at spelling three-letter words, or that our pronunciation of vowels was wonderful. Chances are we would not be moved. We know we can do it in the first case, and we don't care in the second. Because we were not evaluating ourselves, the compliment was unimportant. The more instances in which we don't "take the compliment," the less vulnerable we become to evaluation and insult.”
Overall, I believe both self-respect and happiness are two things that will be always found together.
To fully understand something, it’s sometimes best to take the variable out. Imagine not having self-respect; what would our lives be like? Simple answer, we would be miserable. Without self-respect how would we ever stop the voices in our heads that tells us that we’re not good enough. Having self-respect means you have confidence, without confidence we won’t function very well.
I had the habit of always comparing myself to others, because I lacked confidence. Every time someone would compliment me i would say thank you, but in my thoughts, I would often disregard the compliment by saying, “You’re only saying that to be nice”. That’s how I really felt but I wouldn’t dare show it. I can say from experience that being quick to dismiss compliments lead me to a depressed state. Putting artificial doubts into my head only clouded reality, and I became mindful of this. When I became aware of my false truths that have planted in my head I learned to greatly improve my way of thinking, and thus gain a new level of respect for myself.
So basically, without a true sense of self-respect, true happiness cannot be reached. In order to be happy you must accept yourself for what you really are. Focus on your strengths and note your weaknesses, and in doing so this will ultimately reach harmony with your mind. Happiness is never permanent, it wont last forever there will always be bad times, and the best way to diminish it’s bad times is to have a level of self-respect that has the potential to really look beyond all obstacles.
I’m a firm believer that self-respect leads to confidence, and when you have confidence everything you do will be significantly be easier to do. Here is an interesting test I found online about self-respect. This quote is helpful to get a grasp of the concept of self-respect
“Consider an interesting test of self-respect. If someone compliments us, what is our reaction? If we are very pleased, it would suggest a certain amount of uncertainty about our skill. Imagine that somebody whose opinion we respect told us that we were great at spelling three-letter words, or that our pronunciation of vowels was wonderful. Chances are we would not be moved. We know we can do it in the first case, and we don't care in the second. Because we were not evaluating ourselves, the compliment was unimportant. The more instances in which we don't "take the compliment," the less vulnerable we become to evaluation and insult.”
Overall, I believe both self-respect and happiness are two things that will be always found together.
If I had no choice but to pick one, I would say the most important is self-respect as well. I can’t imagine how someone can really be happy without respecting themselves as well as others. Without any respect you down yourself and others. People will dislike you, and like you said be miserable. . I don’t mean to offend anyone, I’m probably bias, but those type of people who always says “I don’t give a f*ck,” probably has the illusion that they are happy because they do whatever they please without considering anything or anyone. I’m guessing that deep down inside, they’re completely miserable and suffering. I’m glad that you shared something kind of personal that relates to my own issues. I never really thought that self-respect can lead to confidence. Now that you mention it, I now realize that I once lost my self-respect due to insecurities. I did all sorts of things, that I now find very uncomfortable, rude, and shameful. I know that I can never go back and fix it. The only option for me to do is to completely forget the past and just focus on what I have now; which I am very happy to have.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely! They do go hand in hand! But like you I believe one is more reliant on the other, more like a cause and effect scenario. Some of your points were fantastic. I am so glad that you found a way to deflect your own negative thinking and retrain yourself to have a healthier view of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think one thing we all struggle with is who are we really? Just when you think you have an understanding of what you stand for, something happens and makes you question yourself. I don’t really know if I will be completely sure of “me”. That is why this was such a great subject to writing about. It helped me to remember that real happiness does come from within. If I can stay true to myself, whatever that may require for each day in each situation then I will be able to maintain a level of happiness that comes with having respect enough for you to stand strong.
I love what you said at the end “The more instances in which we don't "take the compliment," the less vulnerable we become to evaluation and insult.” That is such a great evaluation. Just think how nice it would be to be so content with yourself, good or bad attributes, that other opinions don’t affect you.
I guess some input is good. If we are not willing to look at ourselves from someone else’s point of view, would we lose perspective of how we may be coming across to others?
I agree with you that self-respect is more important than true happiness. Without self-respect there is no way to have complete happiness, just like what you were saying. In order to have confidence in your self, self-respect is a part of this. How are you supposed to be happy if you do not have any confidence in your self? I like the examples you said about people giving you compliments and you thought they were saying that just to be nice. I will admit there have been times where I have thought the exact same thing! Especially when it was someone who never gives me compliments. I find it really strange that all of sudden they want to be nice. I have found that it is easier just to accept the compliments and take it in as a positive note. It can make my day so much better if I just take it as a good way. It also makes me want to be more out going because I feel confident, normally I can be really quite and to myself, when I receive a compliment I’m a social butterfly! So in order to be truly happy we need confidence, and in order to have confidence we need self-respect to ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI would choose self-respect as well, as I said in my blog regarding this question, I would not hold my breath for something that is only going to be temporary. Why I say this is because to me happiness is an emotion, an emotion that can be swayed by anything that could cause a person to fall into depression, or rage. As for self-respect to me that is something that a person will always have and will go with them to the grave because self-respect is not just an emotion, it is a sense of dignity, a sense of confidence within one's own person.
ReplyDeleteAlso having self-respect sets a strong foundation for one's character which is necessary for this corrupt and demanding society. If a person does not have self-respect then they are no better than a lifeless doll that is going to be disposed of at the whims of other people. Too me that is a disgusting way to live one's life and is worse than death because what is the point of even thinking about pursing happiness if you do not even respect yourself first? There is not, and this is one of many reasons why self-respect is the more important concept in this question.